After more than one year of waiting and praying, God finally answered my prayers! What I have been through though was certainly not as easy as I wanted things to be. But, it was absolutely only by God's grace that I had endured.
My plight started with a random thought that nagged me for months before my thirtieth birthday. "I am turning thirty, and what have I achieved so far?" The chilling answer was NONE! Two college degrees, a nursing license, and a paid-up sky-high credit card bill were all I got and all these didn’t count and matter. I found it both alarming and disturbing that at my age, I have not yet accomplished so much in my career and in my own personal life in general. It was certainly a wake-up call. Suddenly, I had the urge to do something drastic that would make my life more meaningful and significant!
"It's now or never!"
As I was seeking God's will in my life, my mind became a battlefield. Confused about many things, I didn't know what to do with my life or what career path to take. There were too many options and I didn't know what to pick. I had plans but nothing seemed to work and none had materialized. I was already on the verge of being despondent, ready to give up!
“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.”James 1:5-8
But then, I stumbled upon this scripture from Joyce Meyer’s book. Man, I was shaken to my bones! I felt like I was personified in this passage! A believer, a doubter, and a double-minded, unstable man—that was certainly me! Clearly, God has spoken and made me recognize my problem. How exactly can a person believe in something and at the same time doubt it? How will you generously give to someone who asks you and thinks that he will not receive from you? No wonder none of my plans ever prospered. I was simply drifting aimlessly in space—no direction and no where to go.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”Proverbs 5:5-6
So, I started trusting God again. This time it was no longer just about me. I prayed hard for God’s will to take place in my life and He gave me a map. He showed me a new direction and a new path to take.
“With one mind, I am going to trust God and believe without ever doubting that He will honor exactly the desires of my heart.”
Watch out for the part 2! Thanks for reading. To God be the glory!
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